If you had told me 10 years ago I would be running my own gallery, full of my own artwork, I would not have believed you: I wasn’t even painting in 2016! We had just entered the second year after losing our 27-year-old son, Sam, to a brain tumour – and yes, the second year is harder than the first. We’d been living in Leicester permanently since his death but after a year of transition were still saying goodbye to our old home in Loughborough and the whole way of life that went with it. My involvement in nationwide prayer movements and reconciliation ministry and the connections and identity it had given me had all been pruned away. To be honest all that activity had rather taken a back seat during the 5 years since Sam’s terminal diagnosis, but with his death and the move to Leicester it was ‘the end’ – left behind.
God leads us through seasons of desert and winter; Jesus is our Shepherd through the valley of the shadow of death. There were times in that decade (2015-24) I thought that my spring, my new season, would never come. I was broken and lost, grieving for our son, our old home and all that had gone with them and simply couldn’t see any hope or way ahead. Sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other, do the next right thing, receive the daily bread/grace the Lord gives and look after yourself…
I found creativity: it was therapy and mindfulness and fun – time for me. Around retirement age many people start doing this – going to classes and developing skills or discovering new ones. I had been writing extensively on various blogs during the journey with Sam since 2010 and posting the best of my many photographs online too. I was pretty tired of the sound of my own voice, so I went to an over-55s poetry group to learn to be more concise. Poetry has really helped process my grief. I tried pottery and made a number of wonky things that Martin likes(!) but realised I would never have the patience to be very good at it. Then someone took me to a watercolour class.
‘My first flowers’ was the result – not a ‘proper watercolour’ at all, but I am still proud of it – my representation of the vase of tulips and foliage Inky Mitch had put in front of us. I had no art lessons at school that I can remember and nothing but instinct to go on. (When I did go to classes later to learn proper technique my painting got worse! ) It’s the lack of training in my case that gives me the freedom of expression others struggle with. I am a child playing!
When we create we are doing what God does! It is the Holy Spirit inspiring something new through us. I had already been introduced to Julia Cameron’s seminal work ‘The Artist’s Way’ by our artistic daughter. Julia puts it into words:
- We are ourselves creations
- Creativity is the natural order of life
- There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life – including ourselves
- Creativity is the Creator’s will for me
- Through the use of my creativity I serve God
- There is a divine plan of goodness for me and my work
- I am a channel of God’s creativity and my work comes to good
- My creativity heals myself and others
You know, if you try, if you just pick up a paintbrush and put colour on it, you never know what will happen. There is a direct line from this painting to ‘the LOVE of COLOUR’ gallery in King Street.
This has been my experience. As we work at getting the blockages out of the way and making space and time (not at all easy, as there is always resistance to overcome) creativity flows through us. It is a spiritual activity – or as I say to visitors to the gallery, ‘the paint did it itself!’
‘I, being in the way, the Lord led me…’ as Abraham’s servant said in Genesis 24. Coming out of my desert of grief was a journey with God. Then one day last February I saw the beautiful building at 19, King St standing empty and found myself walking to see the letting agent…
Looking back I can see how far I’ve come – and in a completely unexpected direction!
I’m not sure I waited very patiently, but I was definitely crying out from the pit!
My gallery is my ‘new song’. It makes me happy! It’s like another room in my house and I love being in there surrounded by colour and all the pictures I have made. Strangers and friends come in and it makes them happy too! God has put me out in the community where I can be seen and make a difference to the people on the streets. Having shown me what is inside me the Lord has caused it to shine out to others, full of life and joy. What a turnaround!
My story truly emphasises the kindness of the Lord. Out of the grief of losing Sam in 2014 – and then also the timing of the gallery opening last May coinciding with the loss of our 41-year-old other child when they decided to cut off all contact with us that same week… But this gift I have received, such a blessing and consolation from heaven, has helped to fill the space in my life while the God of all compassion is bringing His healing to my heart. I have a new focus to take me forward, true to who I really am, and with the hope of a fruitful time to come. Even in this economic climate He sends encouragements, pictures and cards sell, and we can afford the rent. Plus there are new opportunities for ‘the LOVE of COLOUR’ with contacts in the city – and look, here I am writing again too!
“You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent” Psalm 30:11-12
AMEN
Find out more about my gallery at www.theloveofcolour.co.uk
Follow me on instagram @sallyann_artist and/or facebook page: Sally Ann Dyer – artist in Leicester, UK Come and see me in the gallery, Fridays 1-5pm, Sundays 1-4pm. Open on Saturdays with Lina on the counter 12-5 and one-to-one workshops are available in the afternoon – pre-booking necessary.
Heart Space 